Swan Center
by addicted-to-romione-bedward
Summary: The way he says "Don't go, Edward" will break your heart and make you wonder what broke that poor boy in such horrible ways. Written for Christmas Wishes - Toys4Tots fundraiser. Edward and Caius. One shot.


**Title: **Swan Center

**Author Penname: **addicted-to-romione-bedward

**Rating: **M

**Summary: **The way he says "Don't go, Edward" will break your heart and make you wonder what broke that poor boy in such horrible ways. Written for Christmas Wishes - Toys4Tots fundraiser.

**Warnings: **M/M, mentions of rape and abuse, and a tear jerker.

**Banner + video that inspired this story: **in my group on facebook (Addicted-to-romione-bedward Fanfiction) and in the Slash group on facebook

**Banner Designer Name: **LosT-in-Twific

**Pre-Reader Name: **LosT-in-Twific

**Beta Name: **harrytwifan

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"We have a new one today, hon!"

Bella's voice pulls me from my drowsy state. Yawning loudly and running a hand through my hair, I join her by the front doors.

Bella is in her early thirties. When I met her, I had no idea what a strong woman was hiding under those baggy clothes. She runs a shelter for homeless people she opened when she saw how many people ended up on the streets for various reasons. The person that determined her to do it actually, was her mother—the soul of an artist and social butterfly—who reached fifty without a stable income or health insurance. When her boyfriend at the time ended things, she found herself living on the streets, with no money to even call her daughter. By the time Bella found her months later, it was too late, her mother was in such bad shape there wasn't much she could do.

She's always had a soft spot for the homeless, and what happened to her mother was the well needed push in the right direction. After a lot of struggling, Bella turned this abandoned building into the best shelter in the city.

We can't keep the refugees for too long, but as long as they're here, we make sure to give them whatever they need: food, liquids, medical care, beds, even a hug. I've seen Bella hug plenty of the people who pass our threshold before they left.

"He's undecided," she says quietly, staring at the figure on the steps of the building.

"I can go and talk to him," I offer.

"It's not your job, Edward," she protests softly, but doesn't make a move to go out. Her arms are tightly wrapped around her body—her stomach more exactly—and she's rocking on her feet. She's also biting her lip, and when her brown eyes meet mine, she looks ready to burst into tears.

"Really, woman!" I groan, pushing her toward my desk in the corner. "Go, sit down. It _is_ my job. I'm the security guy, and I should be greeting everyone who comes here," I say with a stern voice.

"But, Edward..."

Now she's pouting.

I glance toward the doors and see the figure still on the doorsteps, undecided. Let's hope he doesn't go away. I need to talk some sense into my boss.

I crouch next to her chair and take her hand. "You get too invested in these things. You need to remember you have us to help with the center. Besides, Jake may behead me if he hears I allowed you out in that blizzard just to talk to some guy."

"Jake doesn't understand the reason why I'm doing this."

"He does," I insist. Because it's true. I've talked to him too many times on late nights to know otherwise. "But he's worried." I finish with a firm tone as I rise. "You're pregnant."

She scowls at me. "Fine. Go after him! He's leaving." She points to the small window in the door.

True, the person outside has decided against knocking. After grabbing my scarf and beanie, I rush through the door, nearly falling on my ass when I catch some ice under my boot.

"Hey! Wait!" I call.

He stiffens, then walks faster, but a gust of wind makes him stumble. He's probably starving and frozen.

In a few long strides, I reach him and grab his elbow. I can't help but note how my fingers can wrap around his arm and my thumb meets my middle finger. He's so fucking skinny. He makes to swing at me, but I catch his fist.

"I want to help you. Why did you leave?" I ask slowly, trying to catch his eye.

He shakes his head, making the snow on his hair fly in every direction. "They'll hurt me." His voice is low and scratchy.

"No one will ever hurt you there." I point to the shelter. "Now, come with me. I bet you're hungry."

"No. No." He grips my arm with both hands when I turn to walk toward the building. "They always hurt me."

We've had our fair share of crazy homeless people, but he doesn't strike me as a crazy person. He's definitely not talking about gnomes attacking him in the middle of the night.

"I promise no one will hurt you. I'll stay with you," I vow.

"Really?" He sounds hopeful.

_Shit. What have I gotten myself into?_ "Of course," I answer. "Now, come with me."

Without letting go of my arm, we walk slowly toward Swan Center. Bella's hovering in the entrance hallway, blankets and hot tea in hand.

The boy next to me trembles and cowers into my side when he sees her. There's always one like him who gets attached to one of us, but I've never experienced it first hand. They often stick around Bella, because she's sweet and caring toward them. I'm usually doing my job as the security guard and breaking up fights, or keeping away the ones that don't deserve to be in a place like this. Invariably, some junkie or hooker try to come in, but I have a good eye for people. Some do need us, others not so much.

"I've got this," I tell Bella quietly, steering the boy to my desk.

He casts a furtive look over his shoulder, before hurrying to keep up with me.

"Here are blankets and hot tea. Rose is making him something to eat. I'll let Jasper know to take your place." She winks at me and leaves.

It's my first time doing this! I'm going to panic. I've never helped anyone…like this.

_He's mine_. Though, I'm determined to take care of him as best as I can.

In the artificial light, I see him clearer. He's a young boy—scared and lost. His blond locks are a dirty, tangled mess reaching his shoulders, his jaw looks strong, but his cheeks are sunken in from hunger. His eyes have lost the light, but I can see a spark of hope in the sapphires. He slouches in my chair, hugging a backpack to his chest, slightly trembling, eyes shooting everywhere.

"It's alright," I whisper. "Here. You'll get warm faster if you take off your jacket and let me put the blankets over you."

He starts rocking back and forth, mumbling under his breath, and keeping a strong grip on his backpack. He doesn't even make a move to accept the blanket.

I know how much these guys appreciate their possessions. They get stolen a lot, and sometimes they have their whole life in their backpack. My heart aches as I stare at this teenager.

I try a different tactic. Leaning my ass against my desk, I unfurl a blanket and wrap it around his shoulders, over the cold and wet jacket.

"I'm Edward. Can you tell me your name?"

His deep blue eyes glance my way, and he regards me carefully. "They used to call me Caius. Now, I'm Kay."

Progress. Good. "Which one do you prefer?"

He shrugs, wrapping his fingers around the edges of the blanket and tugging it closer to him.

"Let's find a room for you, shall we? I'll help you wash and get changed in clean, warm clothes," I say in a soothing tone.

His blond locks shake wildly when I mention the room. He's looking at the door as if ready to bolt any moment.

"You know what is so special about this place? You don't have to share a room. You'll have your own space where no one will bother you."

It's not really a lie. We have three large, communal rooms and a few single rooms for the ones like him, or for those who cause trouble and need to be separated from the rest of the group.

"Alone?" He stares at me with hope in his eyes and voice.

"Alone," I confirm. "Shall we?"

He nods shortly, but doesn't make a move to get up. I give a call to the kitchen and let them know to send the food to Single 3, which is incidentally close to my room. Sometimes I sleep here more than at home, but it's convenient if I have a double shift. Like tonight.

"Come on," I urge Kay quietly, reaching out for him with my hand. He stares at it as if it's some foreign thing, before ever so slowly taking it. I offer him a smile and lead the way to the stairs. In hope to loosen his nerves, I make small talk—I tell him about the rooms we're passing, about my job, about Bella.

When we reach the second flight of stairs, he stops and stares blankly into the communal room to his left.

"You wanted to be alone, but if you want othe—"

"They hurt me!" he whispers. "Always hurt me." He wraps himself tighter in the blanket and rocks on his heels.

Damn. I have yet to understand the reason why some of the homeless turn against each other. It's not like the other person has more than they have.

Quickly, before he can go into a full blown panic attack, I steer him up the stairs toward the only three single rooms we have. After fishing through my many keys, I find the right one and unlock the bolt before shouldering the door open.

"Here we are."

He steps cautiously into the room, looking around with wide eyes.

I close the door behind me, flipping the light on. He's in the middle of the room, rocking and looking around. I guess he needs a few minutes alone to acclimate.

"I'll go see if the food is ready. You must be starving."

I barely get the words out before he moves—he's in front of me, staring at me with wide, panicked, blue eyes. "Don't go, Edward! Don't leave me alone!"

Well, shit. I guess it's time to pay more attention to how Bella does this. "Okay," I answer, defeated. "Uh, how about a bath, Kay? You still haven't told me which name you prefer."

He swallows hard and averts his eyes. "Caius. I like my name, it's unique. But the others laughed at it, and I decided Kay keeps me out of trouble."

"What?" I frown, not understanding what he's telling me.

"When people asked for my name and I told them, they laughed and mocked it, some even jerked me around." Now he looks close to tears.

Suddenly, I want to know his story. For the first time, I really want to know about one of the people who come to us for help.

What brought him here?

What happened to him?

What have they done to him on the streets?

I walk him to the bed and sit down. I don't know where to start, or how to ask without sounding like an inquisitor.

There's a knock on the door and we both jump. Rolling my eyes at myself, I walk over and open the door.

"Hey," Rose greets me with a warm smile. "Here's the food. I also added another helping for you. I know you didn't eat."

That's true. There was a ruckus in Communal Two, and I had to separate a fight, then kicked one out. It was cruel.

"Thanks." Without another word, I close the door and return to the bed, after placing the tray on the desk. "Would you like to eat first?"

He stares at his fingers. He's so dirty, and I can see cuts in his skin. "Can I wash first? At least, my hands…"

Everything about him is a paradox. The people that come here don't ask to be alone in a room; we place them here to keep them separate if they get violent. They don't care if they're dirty, eating with their hands and making a mess everywhere; which makes me wonder about this boy.

"Of course." I try not to chuckle.

"Are you laughing at me?" he asks loudly, but his tone is more defensive than upset.

"I'm sorry. It's not my place, but you're…strange." I really, really need to hang around Bella more. I have no idea how to interact with him.

Caius frowns as he follows me to the adjoining bathroom. It's small, with only the three necessities—toilet, sink, and shower. "I make sure to be as clean as I can, especially before I eat. I'm aware this life will kill me sooner rather than later, but why accelerate the process with microbes?"

_Strange_, as I said. "Would you mind telling me what brought you to the streets?" I ask quietly, turning on the water in the shower.

"Maybe… It's not something I talk about… Actually, you're the first person I've talked to since…Monday, when I met with Aaron. He gives me ciggies."

There's more to that, I can tell. It's on the tip of my tongue to ask what he has to do for the cigarettes, but I keep my mouth shut.

"Do you need help in the shower?

He chews on his bottom lip, looking away from me. "No, I guess."

"Alright. I'm on the other side of the door if you need me."

While waiting, I turn down the bed and run quickly to my room for clean clothes. He'll need them, and I hope they'll fit. He's about my height, though his weight scares me. For as long as he'll stay here, my personal goal is to feed him.

"There's a problem," a shaky voice comes from the bathroom.

I drop the clothes on the bed and rush over. "What is it?" I want to say, but the words die on my lips, choking me. What I'm seeing cannot be possible. He can't be that thin and frail and so scarred.

Caius stands in the middle of the bathroom, clad only in a towel, which is safely tucked around his waist. He's tall and lanky, but that's okay, so am I. Though, my stomach turns at the sight of his collar bones and clavicles protruding from his skin, the way I can count his ribs, the hollow of his stomach, how his hip bones stick out, and at his bony kneecaps. I can't help but wonder how the heck he's still alive.

"Are you okay?" I finally find my voice and take a step closer. Snatching another fluffy towel from the heated rack, I wrap it around his shoulders.

"I don't have clean clothes. My old ones are wet and torn," he admits in a small voice, staring at the pile at our feet.

"Don't worry. I have everything you need in your room. Come." I steer him out of the bathroom. My hand clenches on his bony shoulder, creating a hole in my stomach.

Is this how all of them are?

Why haven't I noticed it before?

"Here. I hope they fit," I say quietly, pointing to the clothes at the foot of his bed.

He walks over and sits on the edge, wrapping the towel around his shoulders better as a shiver rocks him. He doesn't make a move to take the clothes or even look at me.

"Hey, what's going on? They're clean, I promise. I'm sorry for the Spiderman underwear." Heat rises to my face.

Caius cracks a small smile, glancing at my underwear. "Spiderman is cool."

I grin. "Yup. Now, get dressed before you get sick. We don't want that, do we?"

He shakes his head, and I realize it's up to me to dress him when he doesn't make a move to do it himself. I've seen Jasper and the others doing this countless times, but it seems so…intimate. Oh well. Taking his hand, I pull him up and pat his upper body with the towel, before offering him my band themed t-shirt. He shrugs it over his head, shivering violently. Then, I untie the towel around his hips and…good God. He's so fucking skinny, I can't wrap my head around how he could endure the blizzard outside. Maybe that's why he sought refuge here, outsmarted by the cold.

Once his legs are dry, I keep the boxers at his feet and slowly, bracing on my shoulder, he steps into them. I pull them up and thank every deity out there for the tie on the underwear. I make quick work of tying them tightly around his hips, before I hold a pair of sweats. Again, bracing on me, he steps into them. I point back to the bed and he obeys. I place socks on his feet, then throw a blanket over his shoulders and work on drying his hair with one of the towels. He sits quietly, not moving a muscle.

"Are you hungry? I bet it's cold now. Sorry."

"Food is food." His voice is lifeless.

Of course. I offer him one plate, then take the other and fall into one of the chairs by the table. He's still on the bed, holding his plate of a rice and chicken legs dish.

"Do you want ketchup?" I wonder, holding the bottle to him. I live for ketchup. I'd eat it on bread.

"A little. Thank you."

Once I coat his rice in ketchup, he digs in. Fuck. I can't look away. My heart breaks into a million pieces as I watch this kid wolfing down his food. I know better than to touch him while he's eating, but I can't stay and watch him make himself sick.

The second my hand touches his shoulder, he jerks and glares, hugging the plate to his chest.

"No," I choke. "It's yours. You can have mine, too." His eyes light up. "But please, do eat slower. You're going to make yourself sick. When was the last time you ate?"

His blue eyes turn hazy and fix on the food. "I don't remember," he murmurs. "This is really good."

"It is. I'll let you eat, then we need to talk. Okay?"

He nods and goes back to eating at lightning speed. In the meanwhile, I push a few bites down my throat, but it makes me feel nauseous and I give up. I was right about him, though.

Five minutes later, we're kneeling in the bathroom. He throws up all the food, and I stroke his back. Maybe we should try fluids; his stomach is probably not used to solid food—not in such copious amounts.

After I take him back to bed, he coils up and rolls on his side, facing the wall. I call Rose to prepare a soup if it isn't too much trouble. I can tell he's crying, and I'm at a loss to what to do.

Sitting next to him and staring at his rocking frame makes me think of how easy I've had it—all my life. I'm still curious of what brought him to the streets, but I don't have the heart to ask or talk at all. I'm even afraid to touch him, in fear he'll get upset.

Rose brings the soup, and we exchange a few hushed words before she leaves.

I try coaxing Caius into eating a little, but he coils further into himself, rocking harder.

"It's okay," I whisper, putting a tentative hand on his shoulder. He rolls over and faces me, and I'm not sure what to expect. It's definitely not his head on my stomach and his slim arms around my middle, hugging me tightly. His tears are soaking my shirt, but I don't care. My hand goes to his hair on its own accord and rakes through his golden locks.

He has a nervous twitch, or whatever it is, and every few minutes, muscles in his body lurch—either his leg, his arm, or even his whole frame shakes and he cries harder.

My heart breaks with every tear that falls. My own emotions are getting the best of me, but I try to stay strong. How the fuck does Bella do it? I've barely spent a few hours with this guy, and I'm close to joining him in the sobbing.

After countless minutes, I pull him up until he's sitting next to me, his back against the headboard.

"You must eat. Here, I'll help." I take the bowl from the nightstand, bringing it close to his face and lifting a spoonful of chicken soup to his mouth. His blue eyes are clear, and there's some emotion swirling in them; I'm not sure what to name it. Maybe he's grateful or astonished at the lengths I'm going to feed him, but I want him to be okay.

"Come on. Rose makes very good soup." I nudge his patchy lips with the spoon.

A smile spreads on his face before he opens his mouth like a child, allowing me to feed him. His eyes never leave mine as I feed him slowly.

In between making sure I get soup in the spoon and not spilling on the way to his mouth, I hold his gaze. I've never seen such beautiful blue eyes. From all the crying, they've turn clear azure, like the sky on a summer day.

We're halfway through the bowl when he turns his head away from my hand.

"Come on, Caius," I protest. "A few more. For me." He's eaten only one dumpling from the soup. There are two more.

"I can't," he says softly, looking away. "Too much."

Fine. "All right. Are you tired?" I set aside the bowl of soup, and make to leave the bed.

"Don't go, Edward." His voice breaks, but he has a strong grip on my arm. "Stay here. Can you…do that again…with your hand?"

I smile sadly, and pull him closer until his head is on my chest. I resume stroking his hair, but also run a hand over his back.

"You can sleep. I'm sure you're tired."

Surprisingly, he indeed falls asleep. Every time I try to disentangle from him and get out of the bed, he clings to me tightly, whimpering.

I guess I'm spending the night at the Center.

My cat, Snowflake, is going to hate me, if she doesn't already. I don't think I've seen her more than twice this week. Winter time is always crazy at the Center.

A loud noise pulls me from sleep. Rubbing my eyes, a silhouette near the door gets my attention. After a glance at the spot next to me, I realize Caius is leaving…or trying to.

I roll out of the bed, and in two long strides, I am at his side. He jumps a mile when I touch his shoulder. "Hey, where are you going?"

I can see the panic in his luminous eyes. His hand shakes on the door handle.

"It's best I go," he says in his hoarse voice.

I wonder if it's from the cold weather, or the cigarettes he mentioned. "You can stay here. No one is throwing you out," I explain. "Come on. I bet you didn't sleep much."

"No, no. I have to go." He sounds scared. "I really have to go."

"Are you with someone, out there?" I gesture toward the window. "You can bring them here, too."

His eyes are wide as saucers and the moon reflects in them. "I can't stay," he mumbles, rocking on the balls of his feet. His arms are around his backpack, and I realize he's put my hoodie on.

_Don't go._ I try to say it without words, but the second my hand drops from his shoulder, he bolts through the door. I can hear his sneakers slapping against the corridor's floor, and down the stairs. It's so quiet here at night, I can even hear the front door slamming shut behind him. I go to the window and look down.

Caius is in the middle of the alley, looking left and right before pulling the hoodie over his head and tucking it in his chest, then hurrying toward the street.

Bella will be upset I lost him.

Fuck, _I_ am upset. I wish I could have done something for him.

Bella has helped so many, either finding their families and talking to them, or getting them small jobs so they can get back on their feet.

. . .

Every day and night I'm at work during the following week, I hope Caius will return. Everyone tells me the first loss is the worst, but I don't listen. They don't understand. I saw something in that boy, something I haven't seen in anyone else who has crossed our threshold. Ever.

It's been a relatively easy day, and I'm headed home for the weekend. Christmas is in a few days, but I'll probably be working at the Center, since I have no one here besides Snowflake to share the holiday with.

I leave the building with Jasper. He wants a smoke break, and I offer to keep him company.

"Do you want to stay home this Christmas?" he asks, catching me by surprise.

"Uh… I'll probably get bored," I admit. "Why do you ask?"

He toes the snow at his feet with the tip of his boot. "Well." He takes a pull from the cigarette, catching my eye. "I had a fight with Alice. I'd rather be here, working, than alone at home."

"When you say you had a fight…what do you mean? She's still there, isn't she?" I ask cautiously.

Jasper expels the smoke from his lungs toward the sky. "She went to stay with her parents. It was a pretty bad fight."

"Why don't you go after her? Beg for forgiveness? I know how much you love her."

He doesn't look at me, and I can sense there's more to the story.

"What exactly happened?" I inquire, lighting my own cigarette. I'm going to need it.

"To make a long story short, I bought a ring and intended to propose for Christmas. She found the ring, and I was shocked to have it thrown at me along with hurtful words. She told me I'm not ready for that, and when I tried to talk some sense into her, she all but shouted that she couldn't be married to someone already married. Anyway, she spat at me that she'd consider marrying me when I divorce my job. I spend too much time here, apparently."

"Well, fuck." I'm at a loss. I have no idea what to tell him.

"Never been in my situation, huh?" He chuckles, flicking ash to the ground.

I shrug, taking a draw from my smoke. "I've forgotten what it's like to be in a relationship."

"That's because you don't go out, Edward. Look." Jasper turns to me, looking serious. "Promise me you'll go out this Christmas. Have some fun." He punches my shoulder lightly. "It's horrible what I'm going to suggest, but…even if it's a one night stand. No one deserves to be alone on Christmas."

"What about you?" I mumble.

"Me? I'll keep these sad fellows company." He throws his thumb over his shoulder, toward the Center's door.

"Are you sure? Really? You can change your mind. I won't be upset."

He opens his mouth to answer, but stops. I follow his gaze and see someone between the buildings in front of us. They're trying to hide, but they're not good at it.

"I'll go check…" Pointing in that direction, I drop my smoke to the ground, stepping on it on my way across the street. There are always people afraid to come in. As I approach the narrow space between the buildings, I see the small frame of someone huddled near the dumpsters.

"Hello?" I call tentatively. "It's okay. I work at Swan Center. I mean no harm." I show them my hands as I inch closer.

The person starts sobbing, and when I stop next to him, my breath catches. I recognize my gray hoodie.

"Caius!" I drop to my knees and take him by the shoulders. He recoils, slamming his back into the wall. Giving a loud cry, before he starts rocking so fast his head keeps banging on the brick wall behind him. "Don't!" I can hear the pain in my voice. "Let me help."

He shakes violently when I grasp his arm and hoist him up. I've forgotten how thin he is. "It's okay, Caius. I'm Edward. Remember me?"

"Edward," he breathes, his head snapping up to stare at me, dazed.

"Yes." Jesus. He's in bad shape, even worse than before. One of his eyes is purple, his lip is split and blood still trickles from it—a recent cut. "Come."

"No. No. Not there!"

"Would you come to my house? I don't live very far," I whisper, stroking his hair. "I can't leave you here, and you don't want to go back there."

He looks lost, unsure what to say.

"Come on. I'll take you home." I steer him back toward the Center where my vehicle is parked. Jasper is watching curiously, but my whole focus is on Caius and the way he whimpers as he walks, until he collapses against my side, sobbing loudly.

"I can't. It hurts. It hurts. He killed me."

My heart stops. "What?" I gasp. "Are you injured?"

Jasper hears my question and hurries toward us. It makes Caius cling to me.

"Where are you hurt? Can you show me?"

A shaky hand goes to his ass as his eyes meet mine. "It hurts so badly."

_Holy fuck_. I raise my head to find Jasper's eyes staring at me. The terror in mine is reflected in his.

Two things happen next; Jasper calls for an ambulance, and Caius faints in my arms.

Everything is a blur from that moment on. When the EMTs arrive, Caius comes around long enough to scream that he doesn't want to go to the hospital. They do check on him in the back of the ambulance and tell me what to buy from the pharmacy, commenting on the ungrateful brat they're treating.

I really want to bust this guy's face for speaking like that of this poor boy.

Jasper offers to drive us to my house, since it's impossible for me to ride the bike in this weather. The ride takes a few minutes, and once parked, I step out of the car. Before I have a chance to get to the other side, Jazz has Caius out.

He's conscious now, and looking panicked. When his eyes land on me, he all but rushes to me, hugging me. Fuck. I don't think I can be strong for him.

I don't even remember the last time I cried, but he's close to making me sob like a little baby. After thanking Jasper, I walk Caius toward my apartment building. He doesn't let go of my jacket the entire elevator ride, and not even when we're safely in my home.

Snowflake appears at our feet to inspect the guest, with inquisitive black eyes, before rubbing her head to my ankle, purring loudly.

"Not now, sweetie." I shake her off slowly, and walk Caius to the couch. He doesn't sit, just stares at it. "Stay here, okay? I'm going to buy everything they said you need. I promise to be back as soon as I can." I point to the TV. "You can watch whatever you want. There's food in the kitchen. Oh, and this is Snowflake." I gesture awkwardly to my kitten.

I can't remember the last time I had someone over. I have no idea how to act.

"Don't go, Edward."

That seems to be his favorite phrase.

"You're hurt, Caius. I only want to help."

"No. No." His head shakes vigorously, making his golden locks look like a whirlpool.

"Fine. I'll stay. I have some gel around here, but…" I clear my throat. "Let me see. I'll draw you a bath."

When I turn to walk to the bathroom, he follows a step behind me, shuffling his feet.

As the tub fills with warm water, I turn to face him. He looks so frail in my bathroom's light.

I lift my hand as if to take off the hoodie, but decide against touching him. I've learned not to touch him, at least not before telling him my intention first.

"How about we take your clothes off?"

His wide blue eyes stare at me, panicked.

Fuck. I'm such an idiot.

"No. Not like that. Just you…so you can take a bath."

He lifts a bony shoulder before peeling off the hoodie. My Smokie t-shirt is ripped in a few places, and when he raises it over his head, I can't help the hissing sound that leaves my lips. There are so many scratches and ugly bruises on his abdomen.

"What happened?" I gasp, keeping my eye son his sunken stomach.

"They hurt me," Caius whispers faintly.

My mouth drops. "Is it my fault?" I check, searching his eyes. He won't meet my gaze. "Caius, did they hurt you because I didn't let you go on time?"

"Don't blame yourself." He wraps his arms around himself, swaying slowly.

"Can I?" I gesture to his pants. He only nods, but it's all I need. With trembling hands, I undo the string of the sweatpants, then the boxers, before rolling both down his legs. There are small round dents in his knees, which are red and swollen. From my kneeling position, I look up at him and find him gazing down at me. "What happened?"

"Frozen peas," he mumbles, swallowing thickly.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. I want to hunt these motherfuckers and hurt them right back.

What has this kid done to deserve such a treatment?

"Come on. In the tub with you," I say gently, twisting the knob to stop the water.

When he turns to step in the tub, I catch sight of his small ass. Holy fuck. Fuck. I can't take my eyes off the red dents on his flesh. Without thinking, I put my hand on one of his cheeks.

Caius stills and coils up, bursting into tears.

"Shit. I'm so sorry," I apologize quickly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I have no idea what I'm sorrier about; the fact the he got hurt because of me, or because I touched him there when he's been hurt so badly.

"It's not your fault," he says.

I clear my throat and stand. "I'll go look for that gel. Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"Thirsty."

I nod and leave him in the tub. He's sitting at one end with his knees brought up, hugging them, eyes following me as I disappear through the bathroom door.

Fifteen minutes later, I return with soothing gel, painkillers, and orange juice. He's in the same position, rocking slowly. His eyes light up a little when I offer him the glass along with the pills. He washes the pills down with all the juice in the glass, before handing it back to me.

"Thank you."

I set it aside before kneeling next to the tub, resting my elbows on the edge. "Anything else I can help with? You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

His face flushes, and I'm surprised there's enough blood in his system to help blushing. "It still hurts…but maybe…" His blue eyes search mine. "The gel will help?"

I fist my hands, trying to resist the temptation to touch him. He's grown on me so much I can't think of not consoling him.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"You already know," Caius whispers to his knees, before resting his forehead on them.

I have an inkling of what happened, but I want his confirmation. Beating him is one thing, but if he's been molested as well, I'll track down the monsters and make sure the police do their job.

"It wasn't your fault." I'm startled when he starts talking quietly, his head still tucked down. "When I left the Center, I wandered on the streets for hours thinking of how wonderful it had been to be treated like a person for a few hours."

"You should have stayed!" I demand, a little more harshly than I wanted, because he flinches.

"I'm not used to be treated so nicely. When it happens…the person being nice to me always has expectations. I left before you could disappoint me and ask something of me."

"Caius!" My breath hitches.

"I was an idiot, I know." He raises his head, and I can see his azure eyes swirling with tears. "I went to my usual spot in the park, but saw the group I always avoid. I escaped their claws only because a group of joggers were passing. Joggers in December, I know." He gives me a watery smile.

I can't resist anymore, and reach into the water for his hand. He tenses, but doesn't move a muscle. His hand is large but frail. I'm afraid to squeeze it in case I may snap his bones. Slowly, he relaxes, and surprises me by interlacing our fingers.

"I met with Aaron yesterday for my ciggies. There wasn't enough money. He wanted ten bucks more than the usual eleven."

"That's cruel."

"Yeah, well. He always adds a little more, but never to me. I begged him and told him I'd do anything. I've been smoking since I ended up on the streets. It's my safe place."

My hand clenches in his. "What did he want?"

He meets my eyes for a heartbeat before looking away. "You'll hate me."

"I doubt that's possible. Come on, just tell me." I'm expecting the worst—that he had to prostitute himself for money…which brought him to this state.

Caius gulps thickly. "Aaron gave me a gun and told me to rob the store across the street. The catch? He's friends with the gang in the park that always picks on me. I only crossed the street before I was dragged into an alley. It was late evening, so no one was looking…not like people actually see us. I screamed, Edward."

His round eyes find mine again and chills run down my spine. "Then I remembered the gun…and shot at one of them. That was the moment all hell broke loose."

"Fuck," I curse under my breath. "What did they do to you?" I ask, scared.

"You already know," he reminds me. "One hit me with the hilt of the gun, or whatever you call it…that knocked me out. I came around bound to a metal bed, face down, limbs spread so tight it hurt. When they realized I was awake, the first lash of the whip came. Oh, and I was naked, in case you were wondering."

Poor kid looks green, and I have no idea what to do or say. "They hit me with the whip until my throat was raw from screaming, and my ass and back bleeding. Then they told me if I thought that was pain, I had no idea what pain was. They were right. One of them untied my legs before spreading my ass and simply…you know. He was right. I've never felt such pain." He bursts into tears.

"Fuck, Caius." I grab the towel and wrap it around the boy's shoulders before helping him up and out. He's crying so hard his entire frame is shaking. When I touch his head slowly, stroking a hand over his hair, he collapses into my arms, sobbing his heart out.

I guess he's kept it all bottled up, and now it's exploding - everything, from the reason he ended up on the streets (which I still don't know) to everything he's endured up until the moment he was raped. "Shh." I murmur in his hair. "I'll take you to bed," I inform him so he won't be surprised when I lift him in my arms and carry him to my bed.

I'm not sure why I don't take him to the guest room—a room I never use, but it has a bed—but my own bed seems like a good choice. Lying him down, I dry him slowly, whispering soothing words, trying to get him to calm down. When I coax him to roll on his chest so I can apply the gel on his ass, I understand how much he trusts me. I half-expected him to say no and attempt to do it himself.

Right now, staring at his torn flesh, I wish he'd have denied me.

After applying liberal amounts of gel on his cheeks, I catch sight of his abused hole. There's dried blood. I've never seen anything so horrible as this, and I've seen my fair share of odd things since I started working at the Center.

"Caius…we need to go to the hospital."

"No!" he shouts, sitting up. "No hospitals."

"You need professional help."

"Needles scare me," he mumbles at the same time.

I can't help but chuckle. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I reach for my phone. "I'm going to call my dad. He's a doctor, now retired…and if he says I need to go to the pharmacy, you've got to let me go. I want to heal you."

Caius is watching me with wide eyes. "You'll tell him about me?"

_What kind of question is that?_ "Of course, so he can help."

"Don't! He'll be upset with you."

"No, he won't. He knows what I do for a living. He encourages my line of work."

"But…don't tell him I'm here in your house. I don't want you to fight with your parents."

A light bulb sparks to life in my head. He's on the streets because of his parents. Without thinking, I gather him in my arms and finally let go of my own emotions.

"Edward?" he asks softly.

"Why? Oh, why would your own parents do such a cruel thing?" I raise my head to meet his eyes.

Maintaining eye contact, Caius takes my hand and rubs the top of it with his thumb. "They found a picture of me and Mark on my laptop. I have no idea why they were on my computer, but it was the wallpaper…they saw it, and when I got home from school…" He sniffs loudly. "Dad…he pushed me into my room and pointed to my laptop, shouting about that _trash_. I was so scared. I tried to explain that I've been afraid to tell them the truth, and that the boy in the picture was my boyfriend…I guess that was the last straw." Tears fall freely from his eyes.

"Mom did the sign of the cross and recited prayers, while Dad punched me in the face and called me a faggot, before kicking me out of the house—literally. I remember watching them hugging each other in the doorway and staring repulsed at me as I tried to scramble off the front lawn. When I got up and made a step to them, Mom shrieked and called me son of Satan, then Dad spat at me and slammed the door shut. That was the moment I lost everything."

"Oh, God," I whisper, crashing him to my chest.

"I went to Mark's after lurking around what used to be my house for sixteen years… It didn't turn out well. He met me in the backyard and whispered that he couldn't have me crash at his house. He wasn't out either…and he never came out. After I left him, devastated, I had no idea what to do with myself. A few days later, I broke into my house and packed that backpack you know. Then later…I kept going to places I used to call home...and saw Mark with a girl. He chose the easy way out when he saw what happened to me."

"It's never easy to come out to your parents." I stroke his hair, looking into his eyes. They're filled with questions. I clear my throat and offer him a small smile. "My dad…" I gulp, closing my eyes. "He had to raise me alone. We lost Mom when I was five. I don't remember her. What I remember is when he gave me my first sex talk—I was fourteen—he included anal, and I was freaked."

"I bet." There's a soft smile on his lips.

"Yeah. I was kinda geeky and a loner. So girls…or boys…I wasn't interested in that. School—that was my thing. But I've always admired a good body, as in a male's muscled arms or his six-pack, or a nice perky ass. Yeah, anyway, after our talk, we never touched that subject until I was seventeen. For a month, I'd been becoming closer to my partner in Physics. I loved that subject and all the experiments we had to do, but when we were alone in my room…there was less Physics and more er, physical…touching. That was until Dad walked in on us—we had our hands down each other's pants and were making out on my bed. He screamed so loud I was sure my ears would bleed."

"Did he hit you? Kick you out?"

I purse my lips. "There was some kicking out, yep. He pulled the other boy from me and dragged him to the door, all the while muttering about the worst day in history and me being inconsiderate and how I disappointed him. My heart was beating out my chest when he returned. Because I cared for my friend, I asked Dad if he hurt him, and he told me he'd never hit a child…especially one that wasn't his. He was so calm, and good things never happened when he was eerily calm."

"So he hit you," Caius mumbles, squeezing my hand. His had become clammy.

"No, but he sat down with me after he made me strip the bed of the sheet." I give a light chuckle. "We talked for hours. I hadn't told him anything, because frankly, what teenager tells their parents…parent in my case…they're seeing someone, no matter the sex. Anyway, he was reluctant at first. He asked me think about it, consider the option of finding a girl and settling in a few years, giving him grandchildren…"

"Wait. You said he included anal in your sex talk." Trust him to remember that.

"Yep, that was for girls, apparently."

"Ewww."

I can't help but laugh at the face Caius makes. He looks so young and childlike, and it sounds like he's choking. For a moment, I'm afraid he's in distress, then I realize he's laughing.

Fuck, if that's not a beautiful sound. I can't help but grin.

"Yeah," I say softly. "We had a rough few months, until he got accustomed to the idea that his only son was gay, and there wouldn't be any heirs unless I decided to adopt, which is unlikely. I'm not a fan of kids."

"They're okay." He shrugs.

"Now." I cup his face, stroking the apple of his cheek with my thumb. God, I am making it my goal to feed him and see some flesh on his bones. "Can I call him? My dad?"

I grab my phone and stare at the screen. 1:00 am. I frown, trying to count the hours and figure out what time it is in England, where he decided to spend the past few months, with his sister. I've never liked Aunt Lizzie, and it's not like I was going to throw my dear job out the window and spend leisure time with them there.

"Everything okay?" he checks, tilting his head so our eyes meet.

"I'm trying to figure out what time it is in Liverpool."

His eyes widen. "That's….random."

I laugh heartily. "Uh, sorry. Dad's there with his sister, my aunt."

"Oh…well. There should be five hours between us…or six. He's ahead, so it's like seven in the morning."

He's smart, too.

"Good." He's probably having his tea and biscuit breakfast. While waiting for him to answer, I grab a few clothes from my closet and hand them to Caius. I'm such an ass for leaving him naked.

"Son?" Dad's voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Morning." I greet him as if it's normal for me to call him at this ungodly hour.

"Well, good morning to you, too. What's wrong? You don't call at this hour unless something is wrong."

"I have a situation," I whisper, leaving the room so I won't distress Caius further. Dad's breath hitches, but before he can say anything, I continue talking. "There's this guy who came to the Center. Then he left and…I found him badly hurt tonight."

"You can't save all of them, son."

"Dad," I plead. "He's been ra… abused. You know what I mean? I can't say the word."

"Take him to the hospital."

"You think I didn't try? Hospitals scare him, but the worst part is the ambulance guys didn't even want to look at him. Jazz and I—we had to beg them to at least check on him in the back of the ambulance."

He sighs heavily. "You know the hospital policy, Edward. You know they don't usually allow…homeless in unless they're critical, and if they do, they're never top priority."

"Are you fucking with me?" I explode. "He's been beaten and abused in all sorts of cruel ways! That's critical!"

"Calm down, son. You know I don't agree with that policy. How many times did I risk my job by coming over to the Center to help some of these guys, or even allowed you to bring them to the hospital? We're not all heartless—us, doctors—but we swore to an oath."

"Exactly, Dad! That oath states you have to help people, not decide who is more worthy of being saved or not. Your rules are shit."

I hear him groan loudly, and imagine him rubbing a hand over his face. "Must we fight, Edward?"

_You're the asshole who sticks with his fellow asshole doctors._ "Tell me what to do. I want to make him all better."

"How young is he?"

_What kind of question is that? Is he going to decide if he's worthy to save based on his age?_ "A teenager, I think."

"I see." I doubt he sees. "Well, tell me about his injuries." Now he's in doctor mode.

I rattle off about the whelps in his skin, the way his ass looks, and how skinny he is. Dad gives me advice and some medicine names which I have to make him repeat letter-by-letter as I write them down. About an hour later, we hang up, but not before he asks about Jasper. I think the past should stay right there...in the past. I grunt that he's okay, though that's not really true, and say good-bye.

He's always liked Jasper, even though it didn't work out between us.

I rush to my bedroom to let Caius know I'm going out for a while, but he's fast asleep, curled in my bed and hugging my pillow. Snowflake is on the other side of the bed, sitting like the Sphinx and staring at my boy.

Whoa.

Where did that come from?

Huh. I walk to the bed and cover him up with the blanket, running my fingers through his hair. "I'll be back soon," I whisper, and resist the urge to kiss his head.

My errand to the pharmacy turns into a shopping trip to the closest convenient store. I need food for my boy. I'll make him soup, then slowly work up to feeding him solids. If I have it my way, he won't ever go back on the streets. No one deserves that.

When I return home, I find some of my leftover lasagna on the counter. Shit. He probably got hungry. At least, I'm proud he got food and didn't sit around starving.

Depositing my shopping bags on the table, I go to my bedroom. The bed is empty, except Snowflake on my pillow, sleeping deeply. I see the light on in the bathroom, and cautiously knock on the door.

"I'm home," I call.

A small grunt answers me, and I have a bad feeling.

"Can I come in?" I glare at the door, unsure why I'm asking for permission.

Another grunt.

"I'm coming in," I declare, opening the door. Fuck. My stomach sinks when I find Caius on the floor in the space between the toilet and bathtub, hugging his knees and rocking. "Hey, what happened? Tell me."

"I got hungry…"

"I figured." Before I can say anything else, I realize what's happened. "You got sick again?"

He nods.

"Don't worry. Your body isn't used to solid food, not much anyway."

"Yeah, I guess. I usually eat a pretzel and maybe an apple or something."

I pull him up and hug him tightly. _My boy_. "I'll make you soup. Do you need anything? I bought some new lotion. Would you be comfortable applying it yourself?"

"I doubt…but I trust you." His voice is so sincere, my heart breaks and swells at the same time.

"Food first," I decide. "You can take another nap while I cook."

He's about to argue, but in the end, he nods. With my help, he's back in my bed. The second he's lying down, his eyes close, and I can tell he's already asleep.

Only when I reach the kitchen and the clock catches my eye, I realize how late—or early—it is. Four o'clock is ten minutes away. I'm not tired at all. I bet I'm running on adrenaline right now, but when I finally get to bed, I won't wake for hours.

The soup turns out amazing, but it will have to wait. I'm not going to wake my boy. He needs his sleep.

I lounge on the couch, draping my legs over the armrest and covering myself with the fleece blanket I keep over the back of the couch. One moment I'm thinking of a solid plan to persuade Caius to stay here, because I know he'll want to leave, and the next, I'm shaken awake. Long, slim fingers grip my shoulder.

"Yeah? What?" I ask, disorientated. Caius's face comes into my focus. "Shit. I slept like a log."

A large smile spreads on his face. "Don't worry. Your phone was ringing…" He gestures to the coffee table awkwardly. "I didn't mean to wake you, and I'm sorry I hogged your bed. I'll leave soon."

"No!" I sit up so fast I get whiplash and have to brace myself on his leg—the closest thing to me. "Don't go." Now I sound like him. He's asked me not to go so many times… "Caius," I whisper, taking his hand and tugging him down to sit next to me. When he cringes, I remember he's hurt. "Let me take care of you. If you'll allow me...I…"

"Yes?"

"Would you stay? Here? As long as you want."

"What?" He looks scared.

It's not coming out the way I want. "What I mean is...I'd like it if you didn't return to the streets."

"What would I do here, Edward? I can't live with you like...some normal roommate."

"I'll help you. The Center has programs to integrate you back into society: school, jobs, whatever. Please, Caius."

He looks at his hands, folded in his lap. "I wanted to ask if I could stay…" My heart leaps. "...until I got better."

"You can stay. Always. Never go." _Desperate much, Edward?_ "Consider my words. Now, let's feed you, then I'll take care of your wounds."

He looks at me shyly through his lashes. Fuck, he's so pretty. I bet he has no idea what that look does to me.

I'm a monster for even thinking of such things, but I can't _not_ appreciate beauty when I see it.

"I already ate. Are you upset? The soup was great. _You_ are great, Edward. Thank you so much for everything. I have no idea what to do to make it up to you. There must be something…"

Major guilt-tripping coming ahead. "You can stay here. I want to know you're safe."

Caius narrows his eyes. This is progress. First, I made him laugh, now I've made him angry. But all too soon, he's laughing loudly and freely. His hand is still in mine, and feels small and fragile. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're…" A furious blush rushes to his cheeks. "You _like_ me, like me."

Now it's my turn to laugh. "Is there something not to like?" I tease. "You have no idea how happy I am you haven't lost that spark...that many like you lose the moment they end up on the streets. And you have my promise—you'll never have to beg for food or money. Never."

"You're too good to me, Edward."

"You're unlike the others. I saw something in you from the first moment we were alone."

He's all shy again. "When I chickened out...coming in...and you ran after me...it may sound stupid, but I thought you were my Guardian Angel. I was close to hypothermia, and my stomach hurt. I knew...soon...everything would have ended."

My heart shatters at his words. "Why didn't you come into the Center? What made you change your mind?"

"I was a lost cause, or so I thought. Everything ached. I thought there were other people who deserved the spot I would take, people that needed it more than me. When you came after me, I was on my way to my old house...I wanted to see my parents one more time, even if they hate me."

"I still can't believe what they've done to you...that such people actually exist."

"Don't worry. There are worse people out there. My parents are the harmless idiots at the bottom of the pyramid." He shifts a little, and a grimace crosses his face.

"Come on." I stand and pull him after me. "Let's make you all better."

In my bedroom, we stand next to the bed, before he pushes the sweats down his ass and lies down. Snowflake comes to inspect the person sprawled on my bed.

"Your cat is such a cuddler."

I chuckle. "She takes after her daddy," I say without thinking.

"Oh. Where is he?" Caius turns his head to look at me curiously.

My eyebrows shoot up. "Uh, you're looking at him." I point to my chest. "Anyway, stay still, and I apologize if it's too cold."

After sitting next to him, I squirt some lotion in my palm and try to warm it as best as I can before applying it to his bruised ass and thighs, massaging slowly. Then ever so slowly, I trace my finger to his crack. Caius shudders violently, and I'm not sure if I hurt him.

"Is this okay? The lady at the pharmacy told me to rub you thoroughly inside and out. I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Are you kidding me?" He moans into my pillow. "That's the best I've felt in years...which makes me a sick bastard, I bet."

"No, it makes you human...with feelings and emotions."

A moment later, I continue where I left off. My heart clenches when I feel the protuberances made by coagulated blood and probably ripped skin. I make sure to be as gentle as I can, though I'm afraid to apply the lotion _in _him. Neither of us is ready for that.

As I work on his ass and back, I wonder how long we are going to ignore the pink elephant in the room. We've both been open and admitted who we are, but I'd like to further our conversation. I'm aware there's a chance he'll reject who he is after what has happened, but I'll be there for him every step. I'm a liar if I say I don't want something to happen with us at some point in the future. There's something about this boy, something I've never felt in my life.

When my phone takes off, buzzing loudly through my otherwise quiet home, I startle. The problem is I was in the process of applying more lotion on Caius's back, managing to squeeze copious amounts on his skin.

"Shit. Sorry," I blurt, as I rush to grab the phone from the living room. After wiping my palms on my pants, I answer. "Hello."

"Were you sleeping?" Dad asks, amused.

"No. I was actually with Caius, you know…taking care of him?" I answer lamely. "Did you call earlier?" I add, remembering the reason Caius woke me up.

"Yes. I wanted to know how it was going."

"It's okay. I got everything you told me, and now we have to wait and see if he heals."

"He will, son. I've been thinking…maybe you can convince him to go to the hospital. If not, you can always call Jake. You know he does home visits."

"Daaad." I groan. "Wasn't it a few hours ago you told me about your oath? Now you want to involve Jacob in this thing."

"He was my best resident. I trust him wholeheartedly. Besides, Bella would be happy to know he helped one of…" He trails off, because he never knows how to address the people who cross our threshold at the Center.

"I'll ask Caius, but I doubt Jacob will do this. He never gets involved at the Center. You know that. You doctors and your stupid rules."

"Oh, Edward. You respect your own rules at that place, don't you? The rules Bella made about hookers and junkies. They're people too, and some may not be that bad, but you still don't allow them inside. That's our rules with homeless. They have no insurance, and as much as we help them in any way we can outside the hospital…how much pro bono can one person do? Besides, most of them refuse help."

"I've missed your speeches," I grumble. "Fine. I'll ask. Both of them."

"If Jake refuses, there's always Seth."

I freeze. I thought it was a silent rule to never mention an ex like that in a conversation. "Bye, Dad."

"Edward, wait. I didn't—" I hang up before he can say he didn't think, or that he's sorry.

I return to my bedroom to find Caius playing with Snowflake. She's even purring.

Huh. This is unexpected. She doesn't like to be touched by strangers. Scratch that. She doesn't allow anyone but me around.

"So now you decide to like one of my guests?" I mutter, sitting on the bed and picking her up. She meows and snuggles into my shoulder as I cradle her to my chest. She's so soft and warm, my little fur ball.

"She's very friendly," Caius says quietly.

"With you. You're the only person, other than me, she's allowed in her personal space. I swear she was a dog in another life. She bit Jazz once. Bit his ankle when he came into my house." I laugh at the memory. We'd been too shocked to react at the time.

"Jazz?" He frowns, searching my eyes curiously.

"Uh, yeah. Jasper. You met him last night. We were out for a smoke when I saw you. He drove us home," I explain.

"Oh. Does he work for the Center as well?"

"Yep, he's a security guard, too." I stare into his baby blue eyes, mustering the courage to tell him more. "We've been best friends for years. Since high school."

"Nice. I always wondered how such strong friendships last…" He doesn't get it. I need to be more explicit, and I have no idea why I'm stirring dead subjects.

"He's the one Dad caught me with." I hide my face in Snowflake's fur.

I hear his gasp, and when I finally look up, he's out of the bed, getting dressed.

"What are you doing? You need to rest," I tell him sternly.

"You're with him! He could arrive any moment. What would he think? Or…" He looks at me speculatively. "Is this something you two do? Pray on the—"

"Caius, calm down!" I deposit my cat on the bed and jump off, walking to him. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I stare at him seriously. "I didn't want to distress you. Jazz and I…we had fun in high school and fooled around a little in college. Then he met Alice. They're…uh, right now they're fighting, but I swear to you, I feel nothing but friendship for him."

_Why am I trying to explain myself? _"And…and even if I was seeing someone—_which I'm not_—you'd have been welcomed here. Don't be silly. I've gone to unknown lengths to make sure you're safe. Please, stay."

He stared at me with huge, terrified eyes. A full minute of staring at each other passes, then he's in my arms—his arms around my neck as he sobs into my shoulder. "What have I done?" he mumbles.

"Please, stop worrying." I rub my hand gently over his back. "Now, back to bed with you. You need rest."

"You too," Caius murmurs, lifting his head to look at me. His face is red and blotchy from crying, but all I see is a beautiful, broken boy.

"Would you be okay with the arrang…with me next to you?"

"It's stupid, but I feel safe in your arms. I want you to hug me while I sleep." He's so honest.

We lie on the bed for hours. I'm aware neither of us is sleeping, but it's nice to have someone other than Snowflake to share my bed with. She's nestled in the crook of my neck, purring quietly in her sleep.

"Did you always want to do this?" Caius's voice startles me.

"Do what exactly? Hold you?" I tease, holding him tighter against my side.

I can feel him smiling against my shoulder. "No, I was thinking of the Center. Was it something you always wanted to do? Help people?"

Laughing, I nod. "You'll be surprised. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to follow in Dad's footsteps, and not only because all kids want to be doctors. I saw what it meant first hand, and it was what I wanted. Until I broke my arm in a basketball game and experienced being in the hospital. For a few weeks, it was like everything was falling apart. Then Jazz asked what I thought of the Police Academy—what he wanted to do. Of course, I scoffed and told him police wasn't what I wanted, but then I thought about it. Doctors, policemen...they all helped people in different ways, but it was the same, to an extent. So I said yes."

"Oh, so you're a cop?"

"Sadly, I never finished." I sigh heavily. "I was out with Jazz one night and...there were some idiots in the bar. I'd had a few beers, and it rubbed me the wrong way when they commented on how close I was to Jazz. He tried to stop me, but I was too angry to think rationally. Two of the idiots ended up in the hospital, one worse than the other...and I got arrested. Fuck, I don't think I've ever seen Dad as angry as he was in the moment he bailed me out."

"They kicked you out of school?"

"Yup. And I had a few rough months...I almost left home, not like I spent much time there. I used to frequent the bars and go home with people. After another brawl, I ended up in the hospital again, where I begged Jacob to help me. He was Dad's best resident, and is Bella's husband...boyfriend at the time, but you know what I mean… Bella owns Swan Center," I explain. "He told me about his girlfriend establishing this place for the homeless and asked if I wanted to be a bodyguard, since I love fighting. I thought he was joking.

After that, I went home and apologized to Dad for everything I'd done. A couple days later, a young woman came to our door, demanding to talk to me. I was so scared….I might have done some stupid shit while drunk, but not even under the influence would I have slept with a woman. Anyway...it was Bella. She came with the proposition Jacob had mentioned. I tried to explain that I hadn't finished school, but she told me a simple course would give me a certificate, and she didn't need it, at that. She wanted someone trustworthy to help her."

"Huh. She's nice. The pregnant one?"

"Yeah. That's Bella." I smile. "I'll tell you a secret." I tilt my head to look at him, and he smiles. "You're my first...client? Uh, I don't know exactly what to call you."

He laughs. "To me, it looked like you knew what you were doing. You took good care of me. Thank you." He snuggles closer. "I'm so sorry I thought you were expecting something in return."

"It's understandable, Caius. You've been on the streets for so long...everyone expected something in return when they did a nice thing for you."

"Yeah," he mumbles, burrowing his face into my neck. "I'm almost eighteen. I've survived like this for almost two years."

"Far too long." I rub my hand over his back and rock us slowly. "Are you tired? You can sleep."

"Actually, I'm...hungry." His voice is small, tentative.

"Me too. I'm starving, to be honest. It's been a hell of a night. Let's find some food."

"I'd like more of that soup."

"You can have it all. I'm not a huge fan of soup."

When we reach the kitchen, I look at the clock out of habit and am surprised to see it's two in the afternoon. While I heat the soup and make two ham sandwiches, Caius pours orange juice in two glasses. It's so domestic. I could get used to this.

The day draws slowly. We talk about all kinds of things; from happy memories to sad ones, what he'd like to do, if he'd accept a home visit from Jacob (I won't even think about the chance of Seth to be the one visiting), would he like to contact his parents (many who have crossed our threshold find their way back home) and other insignificant topics. It's nice to see him animated, like when I tell him he can keep the Spiderman underwear, or that if I receive another kiss on my cheek every time he eats soup, I'll make it every day. That kiss was a surprise. I was finished with my sandwich when he leaned close and pecked my cheek, looking at me shyly.

For the moment, we're on the couch—he's tucked into my side—watching a Christmas movie. He's captivated by it, and I'm captivated by him. He has such a beautiful smile, I'd do about anything to see it on his face forever. And the sound of his laughter...it warms my heart.

"That was so funny! Didn't you see how he fell from the rooftop?" Caius turns to me.

I try not to blush at getting caught staring at him and not paying any attention to the movie. "Yeah, it's funny."

"You weren't looking." He pouts. "We can watch something else if you don't like it."

"You like it." I trace his cheek with the back of my fingers. "Besides, I know the movie. Though watching you is more fun than the movie."

"I'm fun to watch?" he asks. "In a bad way?"

"In a very good way. I like seeing you happy."

Later in the evening, when we return to my bedroom, I apply the lotion again. This time, when I near his hole, he tenses up and coils away, mumbling that it hurts. I seize the opportunity to remind him of Jacob.

"Yes," he almost sobs. "Call him. I can't….hurts so much."

"Why haven't you said anything?" I groan in annoyance.

"I thought it would go away."

I want to say _You're an idiot_, but I know he will believe I really think he is one. "You should have told me. I'm going to call Jacob."

After I cover him with the blanket, I track my phone and call Jacob. He answers after a few rings, and it sounds as if he's eating.

"Hey, sorry if this is a bad time," I say in greeting.

"It's okay. I'm finished eating. What's up?"

I have no idea how to broach the subject, so I start rambling about this boy who came to the Center a week ago, then how I found him yesterday again, and about his condition. My speech is followed by silence, and I have to check the screen of my phone to make sure I didn't lose him half-way or bore him to death.

"Still there, Jacob?"

"Oh, I'm here...just speechless. Bells told me about the boy you took care of, but I didn't know about his return."

"It happened after my shift. I was outside with Jasper. Maybe he didn't have time to talk to Bella?" I have no idea why he didn't tell her.

"Yeah. Anyway, I'm afraid I can't come over—"

"Because of your stupid oath!"

"Because I have to leave town for a conference!" he snaps. "How many times have I helped at the Center?"

I can't believe how stupid he is. What does Bella see in this fuckwit?

"Do you want me to answer that? You've helped only a handful of times...because you were visiting Bella, and frankly, the people were in very bad shape. But I get it. You don't want to be around them. The mere sight of them repulses you. Fuck you, Jacob!" I hang up, restraining myself from hurling the phone across the room.

"Hey, is everything all right?" Caius whispers behind me.

I decided to call Jacob from the living room especially to keep him from hearing our conversation. I knew it would turn to insults.

"Not exactly. Go back to bed." He pouts, and I have a crazy urge to kiss him, but stall myself. "Go, Caius. I'm trying to get the guts to call someone I'd rather not see...ever again. But you need a doctor, and hospitals are out of question, because there are assholes who won't even look at you."

"I'll be fine. You don't have to...suffer because of me. I shouldn't have told you how much it hurt."

I cup his cheek and stare as sincerely as I can. "Don't you ever be afraid to tell me what you feel. Come on, back to bed." I take his hand and lead him toward my bedroom.

He stops in front of the bathroom door, jerking me to a stop. Biting his lip, he glances at me, then at the door. I flip the light on and open the door. "Go on. I'll be right here." Smiling, he walks inside and closes the door softly behind him.

While I wait for him, I lean against the wall and toy with my phone, thumbing through my contacts and hovering over Seth's name. He's my last chance.

Our last encounter is still fresh at the forefront of my mind, even though it was over seven months ago. He was everything to me, but he disappointed me so much, more than any other person in the world. We'd been together for three long and beautiful years, and he managed to ruin everything in one night. I'm still not sure what exactly happened, but I should have known we were going downhill for weeks. We had been fighting over insignificant things, like whose turn it was to pay the bills, or why did I buy that death on wheels without asking him. Our odd schedules never allowed us to meet for days sometimes, and then everything exploded on his birthday.

I had thrown him a surprise party, which he missed completely because he scrubbed in some surgery without calling me. The guests left after a few hours of waiting. When Seth finally made it home, he was tired and cranky, but I had reached my limit and started yelling at him. He yelled back,objects were thrown, hurtful words were spat, and even a couple of slaps. Then he simply threw some clothes in a bag and stormed out. I ran after him and tried to stop him, because the second he said "I'm done," I couldn't breathe right. In the middle of the street, he shouted at me not to follow him and that I never even tried to understand his job.

I didn't follow him. I didn't call. I simply cut him off after that night.

When I came home one day about a month after the whole debacle, I found all his things gone and a note telling me to keep the house, because he didn't want anything that had to do with me. That was the last time I heard from him.

"Edward!" Caius's loud and panicked voice snaps me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I call through the door, my hand hovering over the handle. I respect his privacy.

"Come here!" His voice is shaking, so I assume the worst, expecting to find him on the floor again.

My eyes widen when I find him on the toilet seat, his hands fisted in front of him and a frown on his face.

"What happened?" I wonder, not sure why he needs me here.

Grimacing, he opens his palm and shows me a ball of toilet paper splattered in red. "It might be my fault."

"How can you say that? Those monsters hurt you!"

"It was itchy…and without thinking…I scratched and…It felt like something detached from my skin…then blood dripped down my leg. I'm sitting here so I won't make a mess. Don't worry…it's not like I'm going to…you know…_poop_…I didn't eat much."

That's it. Mind is made up on calling Seth. It's for Caius. He needs help.

Sitting on the edge of the tub, I hit Seth's number and put the phone to my ear, waiting. It's a little after seven in the evening, so I have no idea if he's busy or not.

"Ed?" he answers softly. The same voice that did me in all these years ago.

I push back all the feelings stirring inside me. "Yes," I squeak out, then stop and clear my throat. "Hello, Seth." Fuck, this is awkward.

"Hey, man. I meant to call. I never found the courage, though. I'm so sorry…"

"That's not why I called," I interrupt.

"No?"

"No. Listen, are you busy? Up for a house visit as a doctor?" I want him to know I'm asking him here as a doctor, not for a booty call.

"Are you sick? I just got home, but if you give me five, I'll be there. I need a quick shower after thirty hours in the hospital."

He still works too much. "Okay. You know the address."

"Uh, can I ask what the symptoms are? Maybe I can buy something on the way." As sweet and caring as I know him…or knew him.

"It's not me. It's a long story, so when you get here, we'll explain," I say quietly, staring at my feet.

"Oh. Uh, okay. See you soon." I can tell he's no longer cheerful about this visit. But why was he cheerful in the first place? He's the one who broke things off, the one who tore my heart apart.

Holding onto the phone, I let my hands fall between my legs as I keep my head down. I never thought I'd see him again.

"Hey, uh, I'm sorry you have to see him again because of me," Caius mumbles.

"Don't worry," I answer mechanically. "I've never been in this position, that's all. I mean…Jasper and I…we left that friends with benefits, or whatever it was, stage behind us with no hard feelings. Then it was the odd date, when I was trying to find someone, but gave up after the first meeting…and then it was Seth."

"So he was your only boyfriend, so to speak?"

"Yup." I nod once, swallowing hard. "I want to be strong and not cave at the sight of him or his nice words, but I'm that weak."

"If you don't want him back, you must remember how bad it was at the end of your relationship and tell yourself you won't live like that all your life."

"You're smart, you know that?"

"Is that a surprise?" He sounds hurt.

"No!" I shout. "It just proves how silly I am. One phone call to my ex and here I am, all mushy and thinking about reconciliation with that asshole." Sighing, I stand and walk to him. "Would you let me see? Maybe the bleeding has stopped and I can take you to bed."

His face turns red. "I can't believe how stupid I was."

"You know, it's good that it itched. That means you're healing." I try to make him feel better. "Come on, stand up." I've never been this open, not caring how gross it may be, around anyone before. But this isn't gross to me. It's sad, and it breaks my heart to see him in pain. "There. No trace of blood," I inform him, pulling his boxers up—my Spiderman boxers, but they're his now.

We walk to my bed slowly and he lays down, curling into himself. I decide to give him some space while I clean the living room.

I'm finished with the dishes when the doorbell rings. Wiping my hands on a dishtowel, I go to answer. My legs shake as I approach the door. The feeling of seeing Seth after so many months, after the hurtful words we exchanged…it's like a punch to my chest. I take a gulp of the fresh, winter air as I hold onto the door, staring at my ex-lover.

He's still the same short, russet-skinned man, with a mop of crazy dark curls spilling from under his red beanie. The blue scarf around his neck reminds me of Caius's eyes, which keeps me from forgetting about these past few months and melting under Seth's wide smile.

"Hi," I greet him, stepping aside and stabbing my toe into the doorframe. "Fuck," I hiss, hopping on one foot.

"You okay?" He looks worried.

"Yeah." I shut the door, still rubbing my poor toes. Since when did I become so klutzy? "So, here it is…"

"How have you been?" he asks at the same time as I'm ready to tell him Caius's tragic story.

"Busy with work," I say without thinking. That used to be his line.

He gives me a rueful smile as he takes his shoes off. "Yeah, me too."

_When weren't you?_ I bite my tongue. "Actually, that's why I called you. It's about this boy who came to the Center then…left, and then I found him hurt in the alley near the Center."

"Why didn't you bring him to the hospital?" he questions, casually walking to the couch and making himself at home. He even pats the spot next to him. "Where is he? How hurt is he?"

Against my better judgment, I sit next to him. The second I open my mouth, the words spill out in a jumble as I explain how I met Caius, up until this very moment. Seth's eyes grow wider and wider with every bad thing I say.

"Crap. I'd take him to the hospital to check…in depth. You know what I mean? There might be internal damage."

"N-n-no hospitals." Caius's small voice startles me. He's in the doorway of the living room, looking scared.

"What if I stay with you?" I ask, walking to him and taking his slim frame in my arms. He shakes his head, but I continue. "Please, Caius. For me. I need to know you're safe. I trust Seth. He won't hurt you." I rock us on the spot as I speak softly in his ear. He becomes pliable in my arms, and when I hear a sob, I know he's caved.

"Okay, but you'll be there the whole time, Edward!" He stares at me with huge blue eyes.

"I promise." My fingers run across his cheek. "Is now a good time?" I turn to check with Seth. He's staring at us with his mouth gaping. "Seth?"

"Yeah. Yes. Now is fine." He seems to be in some sort of trance.

"Good. Let's get dressed." I lead Caius back to my room.

. . .

The hospital is the same as I remember it—cold, unwelcoming, and stinking of sterile detergents.

As hard as Caius is clutching to my hand, I might need Seth's help, too—to put my wrist in a cast. But I don't have the heart to tell him to loosen his hold. He needs me.

"Back already?" A doctor asks Seth, frowning. "I thought we agreed you weren't showing your face here until Monday, ba—"

"A friend of mine needs help," Seth cuts the other doctor off. I'm surprised he's so straightforward and almost disrespecting toward this guy, who seems to have much more experience and is probably his chief or something.

The doc looks at us, and when he sees me, his eyes widen.

_Do we know each other?_ That's a possibility. I visited Seth quite a few times in the past.

"Do you need help?" he asks Seth, placing his hand on his shoulder. It appears to be a little more than a friendly gesture, but I may be reading too much into it.

"No, Paul. I got it. I'll help Edward's friend, then go home."

"All right. I'll try to be home soon," Paul says, maybe a little too loud, and keeping his eyes on me.

_Is that supposed to make me jealous?_

Seth casts me a furtive look. "Right. See you later." Before he can sidestep Paul, he stills him with the hand on his shoulder and brings him closer, kissing him on the cheek.

I check my emotions and sigh in relief when I feel nothing but worry for Caius. And I'm happy for Seth, he found someone else—someone who understands his job, because I was too stupid for that, apparently. Like I don't have a doctor as a father. I know better than anyone how crazy a doctor's schedule is.

"Come on," Seth says softly over his shoulder, leading the way to a room down the hall. "You're going to have to fill in the form… You can leave the insurance part empty. I'll see what I can do."

"Can I write mine?" Both Caius and Seth look at me as if I'm crazy. "Can I?" I hold Seth's eyes.

"Yeah, I guess. But you know what that means…you need to vouch for him."

"Don't make him look like a criminal, Seth. Besides, even criminals have insurance numbers. He's not dangerous, only abandoned by his family and forced to live on the streets."

"Uh…I appreciate it, Edward, but no…really. You can get in trouble." Caius pleads with his eyes.

"Go with Seth and change into the gown. Let me take care of this. It's the least I can do."

We spend the next few hours going from department to department. Seth runs different tests on Caius, labeling all as urgent before sending them to the lab. I've seen him working many times before, but never so determined or so dedicated to his job. I guess it has to do with the fact that he's helping one of my friends. Other than the MRI, I accompany Caius in each room. It takes a lot of persuading from me and Seth, but he finally agrees to go in alone. Seth talks to him constantly and tells him to concentrate on his voice. The second the test is finished, and I enter the room to help him off the scanner bed. He hugs me tightly, making me promise to never leave him alone. I'm aware we have company, but I don't care anymore, so I hug him tightly and kiss his forehead, promising as much.

Seth suggests we go home, but I tell him we'll be in the room he gave Caius. He manages to catch some sleep while I sit on the plastic chair near the bed. There is so much running through my head, and I'm exhausted. When Seth drops by with the results of the blood tests, I ask him for a sleeping pill.

"I thought you might want one, so…here you go." He offers me his hand, palm up. There's a little pill.

I take it gratefully, and wash it down with saliva. "Thanks."

"You can also lounge on the couch." He points to the other side of the room. "As for these," he waves the papers, "He's healthy."

"He's healthy?" I ask incredulously, trying not to raise my voice.

"I mean, he's clean. They didn't give him anything. He's anemic, but I'm sure even someone without a medical degree can tell that. I brought this cocktail to start the treatment." He shows me the transparent bag, then hangs it on the poll next to the bed.

"Caius hates needles," I say when I see Seth preparing to insert one in my boy's arm.

He shoots me an amused look. "This is for his own good. It will make him better." I watch carefully as he disinfects the area below his elbow before inserting the needle. Poor Caius whimpers in his sleep and tries to move his arm away, but Seth holds it still. I'm surprised he's the one doing all this, and not a nurse, but I guess it will be hard to explain who Caius is, and make it worse. "You know him pretty well," Seth comments once the IV is all set.

I shrug, keeping my eyes on Caius's face. "We've talked quite a lot the last couple days. He's a good kid."

"Yeah. A kid," he says sternly.

I meet his eyes, and for the first time, I see a hint of jealousy. "If something happens," I say carefully, "it will be because both of us want that. Besides, from what I saw earlier…you found someone else."

"Paul? Oh, please. I've been with him only a few times, but what he did earlier…that was him claiming his territory…which is completely useless. I made myself clear—I'm not his. I'm not anyone's. We don't even live together."

"He looked convinced that you'll meet over the weekend."

"Well, I did promise we'd spend Christmas together, but before you called me, I got a call from Mom. So I might go home."

I smile, remembering how nice his mom is, and her great cooking.

We transit to the couch and talk in hushed voices about what we've been doing the past few months. He attempts to apologize again, but I stop him. I realize we've both been at fault, not communicating when we encountered problems. And he understands I'm trying to move on, and that I will move on, if Caius ever wants this.

**One Year Later**

"But Bella!" I whine loudly when she deposits LJ, a.k.a. Little Jake, on my lap.

"I need to see to the new arrivals." She points to the door, and I can see through the glass a figure huddled.

"That's my job! What if there's a lunatic?"

She gives me a hard look, and walks with purpose to the front door. Her shoes make loud noises on the granite floor.

"Your mommy is going to be the death of me," I tell the little guy in my arms. He grins and claps his hands, gurgling.

"You were right!" Bella exclaims.

I don't catch the joking undertone, so I jump to my feet with LJ in my arms and rush to her side. She laughs when she sees my astonished face, before taking her baby boy and walking away.

Frowning, I stare at Caius, and fold my arms over my chest. "So, now you give me impromptu work visits?"

"Anything to hear you call me a lunatic." He laughs freely, and I forget about being upset. "In my defense, the phone battery died, and I decided to drop by instead of having a visit from the police at home to make sure I'm alive."

My boy knows me so well. "Good." I reach for his hand and bring him closer. He snuggles into my hug, smelling of the crisp winter air. "How was the last day of school before winter break?"

"Boring, thus my phone being dead. I played Angry Birds." He gives me a shy smile, and I remember all the reasons I fell for him.

I stroke his cold cheek, then walk him to my desk. "Do you want to charge the phone? I might have a spare charger in my room here."

"Nah. I was hoping to steal you and take you home." He turns and steps in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I've been so busy lately with all the tests… I miss you." He pouts.

Taking his face between my hands, I lean down and kiss him softly. "When Jazz gets here, I can leave."

"I'm here!" I hear Jasper calling from down the hall. He stops next to us and gives me a worried look. I don't like it. "We have a little problem," he says, but stops and searches my eyes. I wave my hand for him to keep talking. "I had no idea, I swear to you. But Alice got us tickets for a holiday in Cancun. Uh…we're leaving in two days."

It was nice last year when I was able to spend Christmas at home. Despite the fact that Caius was still healing and getting accustomed to living in a house once again, we had a great time. It was around New Year when he opened up shyly that he liked when I hugged him, when I touched his cheek or kissed his forehead. That was his way of saying he liked me, without actually speaking the words. I confirmed my own feelings, and he simply smiled.

A couple months later, when I arrived at home after a tiresome day at work, I was greeted with a huge hug and a kiss on my mouth. He told me he missed me, smiling bashfully. Slowly, that became our routine, small kisses here and there. We didn't actually talk about our growing feelings for each other until a day in late April, when I came home and wasn't ambushed by him. I found him in the bedroom, on the windowsill, hugging his legs. When I asked if something was wrong, he rested his forehead against the window and mumbled something I couldn't hear. A little coaxing later, he told me it was his birthday and he missed his parents.

That triggered a much dreaded conversation. He told me how scared he was to admit he loved me, because he wasn't sure I felt the same. I told him he was silly, and I also promised I'd do my best to contact his parents. That night we made love for the first time.

"Hey, did you hear me? Are you upset?" Jasper's voice brings me back to the present. Which reminds me…I've been telling Bella for weeks that this Christmas I wanted free time again. I needed to be at home, because Dad was returning from England.

"If I must…" I drag the words out. "I mean, I'll work if you can't make it."

He shifts from one foot to another. "I'll ask Rose if Emmett wants to help…he covers for us when we can't make it."

"Yeah, but Emmett is like fifty."

"And his wife is working on Christmas. They should be together." He laughs.

"That's rude," Caius mumbles. "They're old. I'm sure your dad will understand."

I stare at him and sigh. "He will, because he knows all about work and crazy schedules, but I just…I wanted to be home for Christmas—like last year."

"Next year," Jasper says confidently. "I promise to cover your shift, too."

After going over the schedule for the next few days, I say goodbye to Jasper and Bella and leave with my boy.

"You know, it's a good think I keep the spare helmet in the trunk," I tell him, amused, as we leave the building.

"I still can't believe you insist on driving the bike in the winter. You must be the only person on the planet to do this."

"I don't have a car. Besides, I love the bike," I argue.

"Until you have an accident."

I groan, because I remember this very argument with Seth many years ago. "Have some faith, Caius."

"Whatever," he mutters, taking the helmet from me.

At home, I head directly to the shower, because my day has been horrible. There was a fight over food, and I ended up with pasta over my head, someone threw up and I didn't see it…obviously slipping on the disgusting regurgitated food and falling…in it. I did try to clean as best as I could in my room at the Center, but nothing compares to my own shower and Axe shower gel.

"There's money in my wallet. Can you order pizza?" I call over my shoulder to Caius as I walk toward the bathroom.

"The usual?"

"Perfect!"

Ten minutes later, I realize I didn't bring clean clothes in with me. The fuck with it. It's not like we haven't seen each other naked. I do wrap a towel around my hips and head to the kitchen.

"Is the pizza here?" I ask as I step into the room. My eyes widen when I see my father sitting at the table and Caius leaning against the counter. His wrists are white with how hard he's holding onto the edge.

He doesn't fare well around unknown men. Can't blame the poor guy.

I stride to his side, wrapping him in my arms before turning to stare at Dad. "You're early," I say lamely.

"Your aunt kicked me out. Good to see you too, son." He cracks a smile. I smile back. "So…introductions…" He gestures to Caius, who is clinging to me, his face burrowed into my shoulder.

"Right." Rubbing my hand over my boy's shoulder, I stare at Dad. "This is Caius…my boyfriend." He turns to give Dad his shy look.

"I know him," Caius says softly. "I've seen pictures everywhere…it surprised me. That's all."

"It's okay," I whisper soothingly, kissing his head. "No one expects you to be at ease around men you don't really know after… Yeah. It's okay to be scared, baby."

"But he's your dad. I know him."

"Funny, I don't know you." Dad chuckles.

Caius blushes furiously. "I know of you. Edward's told me a lot about you."

"Funny. He hasn't told me much besides that first time, when he needed help for you, and the odd mention in our conversations."

"Daaad," I groan. "I told you all that's important. I hope you weren't expecting me to tell you a day-by-day replay of what I was doing and who I was dating."

The doorbell rings, and Caius bolts from the room.

"Please, don't make it awkward," I beg my dad. "I love him, and even thought you may not approve, nothing will change."

"Does he love you, too?"

"Yes," I confirm. "He does."

"I need thirty cents." Caius appears in the doorway. "You don't have any coins in your wallet."

Because I always give away the spare coins to the homeless, lately more than ever before, I never have change. "Give him a dollar," I wave my hand. "And tell him to keep the change."

"Okay." He sounds skeptical, but leaves, going to do what I said.

"So…do you have room for your old man?" Dad winks.

"I still cannot believe you sold the old house while you were in England. Like Auntie would have kept you there forever."

"It was a nice retirement spot, but I got homesick."

I roll my eyes. "Ah, what would you do without me, Dad?"

"You must take me in. I kept you under my roof until you got your job and found your own house. Now it's your time to take care of me."

"When you put it so nicely…"

Caius returns with the pizza and sets the boxes on the table.

"Oh, did you expect guests?" Dad asks, staring at the three boxes.

"We usually get three different types and eat from all. They also make good leftovers."

Dinner goes better than expected. Dad and Caius become friends quickly. Despite his initial reticence toward my boyfriend, Dad understands we really love each other, even though there are nearly ten years separating us. Age is nothing but a number. I've never cared for that.

Later in the evening, we settle in the living room to watch TV, but no one actually watches the movie. Dad tells me about his adventures in Liverpool and the various trips Auntie took him on—he visited most of the best tourist attractions of England. Caius sits snuggled with a blanket at the other end of the couch, finishing a book for school.

I was so happy when he approached me in August, asking quietly if he could continue his studies. I found a school close to the Center, making it easier for both of us. In the morning, I drive him to school, and sometimes pick him up in the afternoon, depending on my shift.

I did find his parents in July, but lied to him about not being able to contact them. It spared him from more heartache, and the poor boy has been through enough. I was inspired to call representing an employee of the Swan Center, and not his boyfriend. I spoke to his mother. At first, she denied having a son, then finally caved and told me Caius wasn't their son anymore, not after choosing the devil's path.

She said some other well-rehearsed phrases her husband taught her. It seemed he was the one who had a problem with Caius's choice, though she wasn't too far behind. I ended the phone call thanking for all the name-calling, because I was gay myself. Before hanging up, I could hear her saying something that sounded like a prayer. Ungh.

"He looks pretty good," Dad comments off-handedly, staring at my boy. When I give him a raised eyebrow, he grins. "I mean, he looks healthy. The way you described him the first time…"

"Well, I took pretty good care of him." I beam, placing my hand on Caius's feet in my lap. He jumps a little, not expecting the sudden move, but relaxes immediately.

We're slowly finding a way to live around each other, to understand each other, and come to the other's aid whenever needed. I'm aware Caius won't be okay for a long time, but I vowed to myself I will do anything I can to help him and make him feel safe. He deserves as much.

"His hair is a bit too long, don't you think?" Dad notes later in the night. My boy is tucked into my side, while we're still talking. Typical parent to comment on hair length.

* * *

**Hope you liked it. This was particular hard for me to write. I still have no idea why I did this angsty thing but it wanted out of me. :)  
**

**Don't forget to check my facebook group and thank you for reading!**


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